Hungry

I have learned this year, more often than not, that we tend to go after things that are familiar and seemingly attainable to us. We often define our dreams not by what is in our hearts, but oftentimes, what society, our family, or our friends say we are capable of doing. I am at a point in my life where I am hungry...not for food, but for evolution. After my recent trip to the West Coast and the Philippines, I came back here more focused. My mind feels very relaxed yet driven. Perhaps it's the jetlag. Perhaps it's the fact that my life has changed this past month. Regardless, I feel as if I need to not only get out there and explore the world, but I also need to better myself...even more than I did before.

My teachers have always said I have a strong, teacher-personality. When it comes to being with people, I have a subconscious way of just speaking up and taking the lead. However, I personally have always seen myself as a student. Not just of martial arts, but of life. I realize that there is always something to learn and that there is always something I don't know. This past month, I entered an "intensive course" of sorts in terms of living my life. I've gone through many different experiences, and each one of them made me better in some way. The process wasn't always painless. Oftentimes, we learn best in hindsight. We learn from our mistakes and our faults. It's not an easy process to go through, but I have realized that sometimes, the best lessons in life are the one's that were the hardest to go through.

Now, I realize that my life is good, but I'm not happy with it just being good. I want it to be excellent. I want it to be great. I don't want to settle for crumbs...I want the whole cake.

This past month has not only given me the opportunity to explore the world, but also gave me a chance to explore the world within myself. I had a lot of time to ponder and to think about my life and where I was headed. Every car ride...every plane ride...every time I had a chance to be by myself, I would reflect on things within myself. I realized over time, that I am not satisfied with where I am at. That is not to say I am unhappy. Far from it. However, I realize that I want more out of life. I want to get out there on my own terms. I want to live my life. Not the life of society or what others want out of me, but I want to truly be my own person and live my life. I want to succeed. I want to be more than I am right now.

My main focus for this Fall is to improve myself in every facet of my life. I want to better my relationships with those I care about and love. I want to improve my finanical wealth. I want to travel and see places I haven't seen yet. I don't want to be comfortable. I hate comfortable. I want to seize what I believe is rightfully mine: a powerful life based on love, passion, and excellence.

Living

In the midst of fighting jetlag and getting back to normal back here in New Jersey, I've been trying to carry the spirit of my recent trip over to my life here. Ever since I arrived, I've been looking at different things I've been interested in, and I am trying to pursue them as well as I can. The following are a few things I've been looking into.

1) Writing: My blogs seem to be getting more and more popular every day. This is mainly due to support from my father, who has been emailing nearly everyone he knows the web address of this blog. However, people from all over the world have been reading this blog, finding it through Yahoo! and Google. I've been getting emails from people I've never met or heard of. Not sure how that happened, but I'm assuming that if that many people appreciate this blog, then I should try to figure out how to better my writing abilities. My brother Matt forwarded me to the Gotham Writers Workshop, a writing school that is based in New York City. I've been looking into taking the Nonfiction writing class. I figure that class will help me write better blogs. I've been trying to write a book for the last year or so but I feel that while I may have an inherent ability to write, I am still not as good as I should be. I'd like to take the Nonfiction writing class as well as the Fiction writing class as well. I feel both styles would help me how to write better on all fronts.

2) Officer Michael Pana (?): I've been debating whether to be a police officer these past few years. My passion for FMA is part of the reason why I want to do it. I have always felt a need to help the community and protect it. In light of this, I have applied for my civil service exam and I am taking steps to apply for a job in law enforcement. I feel that if I wasn't teaching FMA full-time, then I'd be a cop. I'm not sure if it's something I'd want to do for the rest of my life, but I figure it's better to aim for it while I'm still young. I've been researching working for the Federal Air Marshal service as well.

3) New Bayani Warrior Updates: I have been developing new programs for our Batuta (short baton) and our Suntukan (Filipino Boxing) curriculum. I have also been working on a Buno (grappling) curriculum as well, mainly to cater to law enforcement and security who need to know how to utilize locks, throws, and takedowns. I am in the process of making several new promotional videos as well.

4) Reading: I've never been much of a reader to be honest. But, in the last month or so, while traveling back and forth, I've realized the value of reading. It's a very pure form of entertainment. I don't need to worry about needing electricity, Wi-Fi, or cable to read a book. I don't have to worry about commercial breaks, either. I've found reading to be quite entertaining in and of itself. But, even more importantly, I feel it's training my mind to focus and visualize. I have learned that I get a lot out of it. I recently finished reading "The Intuitive Warrior" by Michael Jaco and "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. I tend to gravitate towards non-fiction books, but "The Alchemist" as well as "Gates of Fire" by Steven Pressfield have shown me the value of reading fiction books.

5) Traveling: I am making it a point to ensure that I can afford to take a trip by myself, or with a friend, every single year. I am also trying to take day trips with friends every month or so. A big part of this is so I can expand my horizons, but professionally, I am also using travel as a means to spread Bayani Warrior to as many places as I can. I am currently saving up money to take a trip somewhere I've never been. This past trip has shown me that the world is bigger than I think it is, and I need to get out of Jersey every once in a while and take it in.