A Woman Walks Into the Tea Spot And...

It's interesting how life works sometimes. Something as simple as sitting in a tea shop and enjoying a cup of tea can lead to a spiritually-fulfilling experience.

I was sitting in my new favorite hangout in Cranford, NJ known as the Tea Spot. My friend and his girlfriend run the place, and yesterday, I discovered it's only a block away from where I teach, so I decided to come in, drink some awesome Yerba Mate tea, and work on some videos and advertisements for Bayani Warrior.

About an hour into my stay, a woman walks in, orders some tea, and upon the owner asking "How are you?", the woman says, "Oh, well usually people say 'I'm fine', but the fact is, I'm not...but who wants to hear an old lady's complaints anyway?" This struck me as unusual, because it is not everyday people say things like that to strangers. I figured she must really be in a rut, so I continued to listen to what she had to say. She continued and said, "I'm too old. I wasted my life away. Everyone I know turned into someone great and important, and here I am, just waiting around. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I have nothing to live for."

I put away my computer, turned to her and said, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

She was stunned. I suppose she didn't realize someone was actually listening. She looked at me and said, "I'm so sad, nothing in life fulfills me anymore. I'm old...young people treat me different. I'm so jealous of all these young people who are beautiful and vibrant, and here I am old and withering." I then walked over to the side of the room where she was, extended my hand to shake hers, introduced myself, and pulled a chair and sat with her. I told her that I wanted to hear what she had to say. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to hear this woman's story, and lend her an open ear.

She went on to talk about her life these past few years, how she lost her mother 4 years ago to an inoperable disease, and how she herself almost died during an operation a while back. She told me how her parents were strict, disciplined Germans who raised her to be strong and disciplined as well. She is a musician, and after her father passed away, she was left a large sum of money and now lives a life of solitude and plays music to pass the time. She has no friends, although she attends Mass everyday as a devout Catholic. She believes she survived her near-death experience during her operation and said that God must have helped her survive to live for something greater. However, despite her faith, she can't help but feel like she's simply existing as opposed to living. She feels she has nothing to live for.

The more I interact with different people, I begin to realize that oftentimes, it's not their circumstances that define their mindset. Rather, it's their mindset that defines their circumstances. I continued to listen to her talk some more.

She then paused, and I said "What do you want most out of life?" She said, "I want to move to the Poconos, and live a life of solitude, music playing, and breathe fresh air everyday." I told her, "Nice! So what's stopping you?"

She paused, thought about it, and said "I don't know. That's right...what exactly is stopping me?" I told her, "It's you."

She sat there, and thought some more. She then said, "You're right. It is just me. I wish I knew why I'm acting this way." She continued to talk to me about her fears, frustrations, and doubts. She thought it was too late to do anything with her life. I told her, "It's not too late. You clearly survived this long...you are meant for more than this. You can do anything you want. You just need to go get it."

I then told her what I do. I told her how I'm in the works of getting a program for women going, and that if she ever wanted to just talk to me, I'd be in Jersey Fight Club. She said, "You know, I need to get out there. I need to get healthier. When my eye condition gets better, I'll check out your place and train." As she left the room, I told her "You know, your life is yours. You can do anything you put your mind to. Perhaps God placed me in this place, at this time, to tell you this."

She turned and said, "I think so too."

I'm sitting here, in the Tea Spot, writing this blog realizing that at the end of the day, my purpose is to be the Bayani, or hero, regardless of where I am. The truth is that sometimes, I forget that. I'm good at fighting and swinging weapons, but I realize that in the grand scheme of life, my purpose in this life is to guide people and help them. I simply use Filipino martial arts as a vehicle to do that. Truth is that I'm not perfect. I'm flawed, and I have faults as anyone does. But, today, I realize that there's many ways to be a Bayani, and oftentimes, it just means listening to someone that really needs someone to talk to. I realize that God gave me a gift to teach and guide, and had it not been for my current path as an FMA teacher, I don't know if I'd be able to listen to her and guide her the way I did. It's for this reason why I take what I do so seriously.

As it is with all my students, I learn from them as much as they learn from me. I'm sure she thinks I helped her out a lot, but I don't know if she realizes how much she helped me out just now.