People Who Go Unnoticed

I am at a point in my life where I am realizing how my skills and gifts are to be used for more than just swinging weapons around. At this point in my life, I realize that my calling is to be used for something bigger than just myself or my gratification.

As a kid, I used to be obsessed with martial arts magazines. I remember going to the local library and bookstore and I would dig up copies of Black Belt Magazine, Inside Kung Fu, Martial Arts Illustrated...the list goes on. Every time I would open up one of these magazines, it wasn't uncommon for me to see advertisements with the phrase "I TRAIN THE NAVY SEALs!" or "TEACHER OF THE (fill the in the name of government agency acronym here)!" As a kid, I used to look at these advertisements and I would think about how badass that particular instructor must be. After all, if he trains some Special Operations unit or elite government agency, then they must be excellent martial arts instructors, right? And after all, the goal of any martial arts instructor is to train people to be as badass as he is, right? Well, at this stage in my life, I am realizing that while training elite commandos and government agents is definitely a good thing, I realize that I am setting out on a different path than other people in my field.

Now, let me first state that I have the honor, privilege, and pleasure of meeting, learning, and training under some individuals who ACTUALLY train elite military and government agencies to this very day. These instructors are my heroes, and they are among the best in the world. They are damn good at what they do. Their material is realistic, functional, and they wouldn't be sought after by these elite groups (or myself) if their material wasn't useful to them in real-life combat. However, I keep noticing sketchy individuals in the martial arts industry who either falsely advertise themselves as trainers of these elite units as a means to gain credibility, or they try to gain access to these elite units by networking, moving closer to military bases, etc...all as a means to build credibility to the efficiency of their system. This could be done for a wide-variety of reasons, but essentially, their goal is simple: Associate oneself with badasses and therefore, that makes them, in turn, a badass.

However, I am realizing that while training these elite units and groups is definitely an amazing honor, and while it is definitely something that I myself would love to do someday, I realize that the martial arts community tends to overlook individuals who need combative martial arts training just as much, if not more so, then our heroes in the armed forces or in the law enforcement field. These individuals include the blind, the wheelchair bound, the sick, and the elderly. These people are often overlooked not just by martial arts teachers, but by society in general. These are also the people most susceptible to attack by criminals who wish to do them harm. The fact is that not everyone out there is a badass Navy SEAL or government spook. Most of our society consists of everyday people who want to live the warrior lifestyle someway or another.

As a martial arts instructor, I feel it's important to improve as many lives as possible, and part of that is understanding that everyone has different needs. I believe that fighting is an essential skill, but I want to remind my peers out there that while it's a great thing to be a trainer of the elite forces, it's also just as important to reach out to those who may be overlooked by us everyday.

Sama Sama

I've been told that our life is impacted by our relationships. I just returned from Sayoc Kali Sama Sama 2012, and as I sit here, I realize there are so many parallels between what I experienced this weekend and what I have been going through in my personal life.

For those of you reading this who do not know what Sayoc Sama Sama is, Sama Sama (Tagalog for "gathering" or "get together") is a Filipino martial arts event in which all the members of Sayoc Global LLC (also known as Sayoc Kali) and their friends and affiliates come together for a weekend of training, eating, networking, and bonding as warriors. Last year, I attended my first Sayoc Sama Sama, and the experience was so life-changing that I decided to attend the recent one in Florida this past weekend. (Check out the following video about my experience last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzXzEVHLdbA)I met so many amazing people last year, and I made many friends. However, the members of Sayoc Global tend to be from all over the world, and until the next Sama Sama, I resort to staying in touch via Facebook and other forms of online communication.

When I arrived in Florida this past Friday night, it became clear to me that despite the distance between me and my friends in the organization this past year, it was as if we saw each other yesterday. One of my Sayoc brothers, JD Wolfe, hooked me up with a place to stay for the weekend. My brothers from Sayoc New Hampshire and Massachusetts hooked me up with transportation and we were able to become good friends and enjoyed many meals together. My friends Eloy and Ervin Quintin (and their kids) saw me for the second time this past month after my recent visit to their hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia and I feel like every time I'm with them, I become part of their family. I also became reunited with my friends from Connecticut, California, Upstate New York, Oklahoma, and Philadelphia. I also made friends from Washington, Texas, Florida, and even Poland!

As you can see, there are very few members from my home state of New Jersey, and again, I barely see these individuals on a regular basis. Yet, it seems that our connection never left and our friendships still remain strong. I've been in martial arts for a long time, and I've come across many systems and organizations that call themselves a "family", and to this date, the Sayoc Global organization and all the systems within it (Atienza Kali, Sayoc Tactical Group, FCS Kali, and Filipino Combatives just to name a few) truly function as a family in a very real sense despite the distance between all of us.

For those of you who know me personally, it seems that the concept of long distance relationships also play a big role in my personal life. I've been in a long distance relationship with a beautiful, caring, and flat-out incredible woman for the last 8 months. She lives in Texas. I live in New Jersey. As you can imagine, it is not easy. It takes a lot of work to keep something like this going. There is a lot of communication both online and on the phone. We cherish moments that most other couples who live within close proximity to one another take for granted. On their first date, a man may drive to the front door of the woman to pick her up for a night on the town. On my first real date with her, she picked me up from her local airport.

It is not easy to keep a long distance relationship going, but it can be done. However, despite the distance, I am admittedly very much in love with her, and I still feel incredibly close to her. While we don't see each other as often as a normal couple does, I feel that we have a connection that cannot be explained just in words. While no amount of Skype, texting, or calling can ever replace holding her hand or looking into her eyes, I realize that as it was during Sayoc Sama Sama, distance can never truly separate one person from another.

In my relationship with my girlfriend, it's as if we have our own "Sama Sama" every time we meet. We travel a far distance, and pay considerable amounts of money in order to travel and be with each other. We enjoy each other's company. We eat tons of food. We become strengthened by each others presence. We push the other to be better. We learn from each other's respective "systems", and interact with the members of our respective "organizations". We learn from each other. We communicate with each other. We take tons of pictures. And, sometimes, we may test each other. As a result, our relationship, our "system", becomes reset and strengthened till the next time we see each other.

Whether the person is right next to you or miles and miles away, when you meet someone and there is a good foundation in what you both value and stand for, and if there is mutual respect and love (whether romantic or platonic) then it is more than possible to maintain a connection despite the distance. It isn't necessarily easy by any means, but at the end of the day, it is totally worthwhile and fulfilling. And, when you do finally meet that person face to face, it makes the time even more beautiful and worthwhile. But, it's important to meet. It's important to have your Sama Sama to keep that system going. Most importantly, it's important to remember what you both stand for. Once you figure that out, then the connection between you and the other person becomes stronger to maintain.