Hungry

I have learned this year, more often than not, that we tend to go after things that are familiar and seemingly attainable to us. We often define our dreams not by what is in our hearts, but oftentimes, what society, our family, or our friends say we are capable of doing. I am at a point in my life where I am hungry...not for food, but for evolution. After my recent trip to the West Coast and the Philippines, I came back here more focused. My mind feels very relaxed yet driven. Perhaps it's the jetlag. Perhaps it's the fact that my life has changed this past month. Regardless, I feel as if I need to not only get out there and explore the world, but I also need to better myself...even more than I did before.

My teachers have always said I have a strong, teacher-personality. When it comes to being with people, I have a subconscious way of just speaking up and taking the lead. However, I personally have always seen myself as a student. Not just of martial arts, but of life. I realize that there is always something to learn and that there is always something I don't know. This past month, I entered an "intensive course" of sorts in terms of living my life. I've gone through many different experiences, and each one of them made me better in some way. The process wasn't always painless. Oftentimes, we learn best in hindsight. We learn from our mistakes and our faults. It's not an easy process to go through, but I have realized that sometimes, the best lessons in life are the one's that were the hardest to go through.

Now, I realize that my life is good, but I'm not happy with it just being good. I want it to be excellent. I want it to be great. I don't want to settle for crumbs...I want the whole cake.

This past month has not only given me the opportunity to explore the world, but also gave me a chance to explore the world within myself. I had a lot of time to ponder and to think about my life and where I was headed. Every car ride...every plane ride...every time I had a chance to be by myself, I would reflect on things within myself. I realized over time, that I am not satisfied with where I am at. That is not to say I am unhappy. Far from it. However, I realize that I want more out of life. I want to get out there on my own terms. I want to live my life. Not the life of society or what others want out of me, but I want to truly be my own person and live my life. I want to succeed. I want to be more than I am right now.

My main focus for this Fall is to improve myself in every facet of my life. I want to better my relationships with those I care about and love. I want to improve my finanical wealth. I want to travel and see places I haven't seen yet. I don't want to be comfortable. I hate comfortable. I want to seize what I believe is rightfully mine: a powerful life based on love, passion, and excellence.