Monday, March 29, 2010

Decisions, Sacrifice, and Pursuing Your Passion

It's been almost a year since I decided to leave my previous job and recently decided to teach Filipino martial arts full time. Up to that point, I was constantly in battle with myself. Questions kept popping up within me: Could I do it? Could I succeed? What if I don't succeed? Or, more importantly...what if I DO succeed? Looking back on myself a year ago and seeing where I am now, I must say that it was the best decision I've ever made. Bayani Warrior is still growing, and I am not exactly where I want to be just yet...but I am way better now spiritually, mentally, and financially than I was a year ago. It may be just a recently growing group but I hope and pray it gets bigger in years to come.

Now, I must be honest in saying that it's not an easy path I have chosen. While I enjoy truly being my own boss, and doing what I love, we need to remember that this is a truly challenging undertaking. Bayani Warrior will only grow if I work 110 percent, every moment, of every day. I have to constantly train, recruit, and maintain a steady client base. Every hour, I am writing, researching, working on my website, and making promotional videos for our You Tube channel. Also, since I am self-employed, I honestly do not have that much of a social life since I don't have any co-workers to hang out with after work. However, despite all these challenges, I need to make it clear that everything I have done in this past year has been based on solid decision making. When I set out to pursue this, I did not simply state preferences on how I'd "like" to be or how I'd "like" things to turn out. I decided to take a stand in my life and pursue this. In fact, the etymology of the word "decision" literally translates to "cut off from" or "to sever from". In that respect, I had to sever any and all doubts and hindrances that would prevent me from giving my all towards this goal. I had to sacrifice the stability of a "normal" job as well as a more vibrant social life to pursue this.

Bayani Warrior, for me, is not a job...it's not me pursuing a hobby and doing a job that is fun for me. Rather, it is my lifestyle. Bayani Warrior, for me, is my full-time job, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Everything I do, from how I eat, dress, speak, think, and even the way I park my car in a parking lot....it all stems from my training and how it affects my lifestyle. The same goes for who I speak to and associate with.

A lot of people may think, "That sounds very restrictive. What kind of life is that?" For me, a restrictive life would be a life in which one is not pursuing what makes them truly and ultimately fulfilled as a human being. My whole life, I've seen people who simply float through the river of life without any passion or desire to realize their full potential. However, I have also come across people in my life who, against all odds, fought against the river and carved out a fulfilling destiny for themselves.

The fact is that I am doing exactly what I feel God has put me on this planet to do. It's not just teaching Filipino martial arts. Anyone can teach cool fighting moves. Rather, it's helping people improve themselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically through Filipino warrior training. I am using Filipino warrior arts as a rallying point for all those people in the world who WANT more out of life. I am using this art to aid those who want to be able to live a more focused lifestyle. It is not an easy path, but it is a path I am more than happy to pursue.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

6 Things Filipino Parents Should Know

I have been blessed with, what could possibly be, the best parents on earth. No lie. It's not just my opinion. It's the opinion of my girlfriend, my friends, and my siblings' friends. What makes it even crazier that my parents are FILIPINO. My parents are very different from other Filipino parents I have encountered. I am very fortunate. From what I've seen in the past 10 years, most Filipino parents have no idea how their kids feel, nor do they consider their child's emotional and spiritual well-being to be of primary concern. Sadly, I have found that most Filipino-American kids are estranged or harbor ill feelings towards their parents.

The following are 6 Things Filipino Parents Should Know. This is not an entry pointing out the flaws in all Filipino parents. These are simply things that most Filipino youth are feeling, yet they do not have the means to express it.

1) Never, under any circumstances, compare your kid to someone else: You should NEVER compare your child's intellect, sense of dress, body type, or level of athletic/musica/academic ability to another child's. Why? Because it makes your kid feel like complete crap, that's why! Your child is a unique creation. They are YOURS. They have their own set of talents, abilities, and attributes that set them apart from the rest. By comparing them to other kids, you are only highlighting their faults. Instead, highlight what makes them great. Odds are that somewhere out there, some parent is comparing their kid to YOURS. Just something to keep in mind.

2) Put the emotional and spiritual well-being of your child FIRST: From what I have encountered as a young Filipino-American adult, I have noticed that a common problem that Filipino youth have toward their parents is that they feel that their parents only care about two things: Academics and Money. These two things are definitely important, but I have found that most Filipino parents put so much emphasis on these two things that they neglect their child's emotional and spiritual well-being. Most Filipino parents I have encountered assume that just because their kid is getting good grades, that they are able to keep a roof over their head and feed them, then they are doing fine. Nothing could be further from the truth. Academic success is not a measure of how your child is doing as a human being, nor is their financial status. Far too many Filipino parents put way too much emphasis on the external things (i.e. grades, looks, money, etc.) as opposed to seriously looking into the hearts and minds of their kids. As a result, most Filipino kids that I have come across feel that their parents truly do not care about them. No matter how good your child's grades are...no matter how much money they may make in the future...if you don't show that you care about the way they feel, then your child will resent you for it. Make sure to show your child that you care about not what they are getting in school or how much money they make, but that you care about who they are and how they feel.

3) Cherish your child's opinions: In the standard Filipino home, it is not a democracy...it's a dictatorship. The parent makes the rules. The kids follow the rules. Simple, right? Well, perhaps in early 20th century Philippines it worked, but not anymore. Your children spend 7 hours a day, 5 days a week in an American school system where they are encouraged to raise their hands and speak up about the topic at hand. When your kid tries to express their opinion about something that they disagree with you on, don't take offense to it. Don't view it as a mutiny. Instead, listen to them...they may have something important to say. Just because they are your children, doesn't mean they have child-like minds. Listen to them and appreciate what they have to say. They may see things that you don't see.

4) We are in America. Not the Philippines.: Traditional Filipino values are wonderful. I feel that they root us in a firm moral grounding. Filipino values emphasize hard work ethic, strong family ties, and respect for one's elders. However, Filipino parents who have raised their kids here in the USA must realize that their kids will NOT behave the same way or share all of the same values as their parents. The culture of America and the culture of the Philippines is not the same. Please don't spout phrases like, "If we were in the Philippines, then you would not be behaving this way." Well, we aren't in the Philippines. We are in America. We are grateful for it. We are not completely Filipino. While we may have Filipino roots, we are an American tree...a tree that you grew here on American soil, not Filipino soil. We aren't throwing our Filipino values out the window...we are simply adjusting them to become relevant in American society.

5) Let us pursue what we truly want to pursue: Yes, medicine and business may be "safe" routes to take financially. If one wants to pursue medicine or business...then more power to them! However, if one does not feel that those two avenues are for them, then please, don't judge them. Your child may be meant for something else. Again, this is NOT the Philippines where one needs to go into a specific field of study to survive and raise a family. This is AMERICA. This is the land where we can actually pursue our dreams and succeed. You brought us here for a better life. Remember that having a better life involves more than just financial security. It must have spiritual fulfillment as well.

6) Congratulate our good deeds: If we do the dishes or clean the kitchen properly, then it'd be great to hear "Thank you" or "Good work". Now most Filipino parents will say, "Well, it's my kid's job to do those chores anyway. Why should I bother thanking them or congratulating them?" If you want to encourage good behavior, you must reinforce it by verbally communicating your support of their behavior. If you fail to acknowledge the good work your child has done, then you are not encouraging their good behavior. By encouraging good behavior, you will see more of it.