Thursday, January 14, 2010

The F-Word Part 2

In the first installment of "The F-Word" I spoke about how the power of the F-Word can truly elevate one to reach their highest potential and to live a much more powerful and productive life. In the last week or so, I've been through some things that have challenged the F-word in my own life. I won't go into them, but I feel that even in these dire circumstances, the F-word still plays a huge role in how to overcome life's challenges. Before I continue, let me just say that this is not an entry based on religious faith per se. Rather, it is an entry based on the concept of faith and how, unfortunately, it is necessary for it to be tested.

I was a Philosophy major back in college. Initially, I went into Philosophy to see whether or not I could defend faith, which in my case, was religious faith. In my Junior year, I was in a Classical Philosophy class which covered the concept of faith. Despite the fact that I was attending a Catholic university, the room was filled with people from all walks of life...ironically, the predominant group being atheists and agnostics. The professor asked us, "What is faith?" I sat there honestly perplexed. From my previous experiences, I could never successfully defend faith in a public setting. I simply sat there and waited to see what they would say. A girl sitting behind me raised her hand and said, "Faith is just a way for people to trick themselves into thinking everything will be okay. When bad things happen, they use faith as a way to make themselves feel better." Another guy raised up his hand and said, "Faith is irrational. Faith is just something people use as an excuse to start wars, hate gays and lesbians, and judge people."

Then, another guy raised his hand. He was a seminarian. Now, he didn't look like a person studying to be a priest, I will tell you that. I knew the guy from a bunch of my other Philosophy classes. I often saw him smoking a cigarette outside before class. I never knew his name. But, he raised his hand and said something that basically shut everyone up, and I will never forget it.

He said calmly, "That is not what faith is. Faith is, when everything in the world is going wrong...when all the suffering in the world seems to be in front of you...faith is the thing that makes you say 'Look, I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why I keep suffering this way. But, I have faith that this is for a reason. I have faith that I will come out of this. I have faith I can make it through.' It is the belief that there is something beyond me that believes in my ability to handle it." The other two people who previously answered began to debate him, but it was clear that their definition of faith wasn't based on anything other than emotional responses.

I walked out of that room still a bit confused, but overall, I felt that I left class with a better understanding of what faith was than when I entered the class that day.

Oftentimes, when bad things happen, we cannot understand why they happen. I know I sure don't. Faith is one of the hardest things to maintain. When the chaos of the world surrounds you, it's hard to just "have faith". Suffering feels like you are being submerged in water...the water gets higher and higher and no matter how hard you try to stay afloat and catch a breath of air, it seems that you are just going to drown. Yes, it's hard to have faith. It's hard to believe that things can get better when the whole world seems to be falling apart around you. But, I feel we need to re-define our concept of faith.

Faith is not a band aid...it is surgery designed to fix you from the inside out. Faith is not a blindfold to blind yourself from your problems...it is the corrective lenses that help improve your vision. Faith is not an opiate...faith is painful and hurts like hell, make no mistake about it. Faith is not a crutch...it is the physical therapist that teaches you how to walk again.

In my eyes, keeping the faith is like building a fire...it's easy to start it and it can keep you warm for a little while, but it is really hard and takes a lot of work to keep it going. But, I am reminded of a quote by one of my personal heroes, Bono of U2, who once said in regards to his idea of faith: "You have to beat it up. You have to pummel it to make sure that it can withstand it, to make sure you can trust it."

Faith needs to be beat up. It needs to be tested. Like a bone or muscle, in order for it to grow and get stronger, it needs to break down first. Now, I know this is not good news. Far from it. It sucks...a lot. But, that's the nature of faith.

I know I have many battles in this life to fight, and they probably won't be fought with a blade, stick, or gun. They are going to be fought within me, as you, the reader, may be battling too. As much as I'd like to be rid of all of life's battles, I know for a fact that is not possible. Life will throw battles my way that may completely beat the crap out of my faith, as it has done many, many times. However, I think that whatever you and I are facing right now is meant to teach us something. It isn't pleasant. It isn't fun. But, it is necessary to make us better people and to be able to grow from it.