A Woman Walks Into the Tea Spot And...

It's interesting how life works sometimes. Something as simple as sitting in a tea shop and enjoying a cup of tea can lead to a spiritually-fulfilling experience.

I was sitting in my new favorite hangout in Cranford, NJ known as the Tea Spot. My friend and his girlfriend run the place, and yesterday, I discovered it's only a block away from where I teach, so I decided to come in, drink some awesome Yerba Mate tea, and work on some videos and advertisements for Bayani Warrior.

About an hour into my stay, a woman walks in, orders some tea, and upon the owner asking "How are you?", the woman says, "Oh, well usually people say 'I'm fine', but the fact is, I'm not...but who wants to hear an old lady's complaints anyway?" This struck me as unusual, because it is not everyday people say things like that to strangers. I figured she must really be in a rut, so I continued to listen to what she had to say. She continued and said, "I'm too old. I wasted my life away. Everyone I know turned into someone great and important, and here I am, just waiting around. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I have nothing to live for."

I put away my computer, turned to her and said, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

She was stunned. I suppose she didn't realize someone was actually listening. She looked at me and said, "I'm so sad, nothing in life fulfills me anymore. I'm old...young people treat me different. I'm so jealous of all these young people who are beautiful and vibrant, and here I am old and withering." I then walked over to the side of the room where she was, extended my hand to shake hers, introduced myself, and pulled a chair and sat with her. I told her that I wanted to hear what she had to say. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to hear this woman's story, and lend her an open ear.

She went on to talk about her life these past few years, how she lost her mother 4 years ago to an inoperable disease, and how she herself almost died during an operation a while back. She told me how her parents were strict, disciplined Germans who raised her to be strong and disciplined as well. She is a musician, and after her father passed away, she was left a large sum of money and now lives a life of solitude and plays music to pass the time. She has no friends, although she attends Mass everyday as a devout Catholic. She believes she survived her near-death experience during her operation and said that God must have helped her survive to live for something greater. However, despite her faith, she can't help but feel like she's simply existing as opposed to living. She feels she has nothing to live for.

The more I interact with different people, I begin to realize that oftentimes, it's not their circumstances that define their mindset. Rather, it's their mindset that defines their circumstances. I continued to listen to her talk some more.

She then paused, and I said "What do you want most out of life?" She said, "I want to move to the Poconos, and live a life of solitude, music playing, and breathe fresh air everyday." I told her, "Nice! So what's stopping you?"

She paused, thought about it, and said "I don't know. That's right...what exactly is stopping me?" I told her, "It's you."

She sat there, and thought some more. She then said, "You're right. It is just me. I wish I knew why I'm acting this way." She continued to talk to me about her fears, frustrations, and doubts. She thought it was too late to do anything with her life. I told her, "It's not too late. You clearly survived this long...you are meant for more than this. You can do anything you want. You just need to go get it."

I then told her what I do. I told her how I'm in the works of getting a program for women going, and that if she ever wanted to just talk to me, I'd be in Jersey Fight Club. She said, "You know, I need to get out there. I need to get healthier. When my eye condition gets better, I'll check out your place and train." As she left the room, I told her "You know, your life is yours. You can do anything you put your mind to. Perhaps God placed me in this place, at this time, to tell you this."

She turned and said, "I think so too."

I'm sitting here, in the Tea Spot, writing this blog realizing that at the end of the day, my purpose is to be the Bayani, or hero, regardless of where I am. The truth is that sometimes, I forget that. I'm good at fighting and swinging weapons, but I realize that in the grand scheme of life, my purpose in this life is to guide people and help them. I simply use Filipino martial arts as a vehicle to do that. Truth is that I'm not perfect. I'm flawed, and I have faults as anyone does. But, today, I realize that there's many ways to be a Bayani, and oftentimes, it just means listening to someone that really needs someone to talk to. I realize that God gave me a gift to teach and guide, and had it not been for my current path as an FMA teacher, I don't know if I'd be able to listen to her and guide her the way I did. It's for this reason why I take what I do so seriously.

As it is with all my students, I learn from them as much as they learn from me. I'm sure she thinks I helped her out a lot, but I don't know if she realizes how much she helped me out just now.

A Church in Need of Conversion

I don't talk about my faith, or about religion, a whole lot publicly as much as I used to. Like most Filipinos, I was born and raised a Catholic. However, in the past few years, I've struggled with my Catholic upbringing and have questioned and grown cynical regarding the Catholic community and the Catholic Church. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that as a whole, the Catholic faith, it's Church, and it's people are not bad...it's the mindset and approach towards the Catholic faith that often causes division and dissent.

Growing up, I did the typical Filipino Catholic things any Filipino Catholic kid did. I went to Catholic school for most of my life. I went to Mass every Sunday with my family. My first Holy Communion was a milestone in my young life, and my Confirmation in middle school was treated like a rite of passage. I was active, very active, in my youth group and most of my childhood friends were met through the youth group, or through weekend retreats.

As I got older, and lived overseas, I saw how the Catholic way of life conflicted with a lot of the values I was encountering. I spent my early teens growing up in Bangkok, Thailand and while my faith was strong, I was living in an environment that greatly conflicted with the values I was raised in. When I moved back and entered a non-sectarian secular prep school in my later high school years, I realized how different my lifestyle was then other teens, and I was often questioned and even made fun of for my upbringing. However, I believe my biggest challenge to my Catholic upbringing occurred in college. I witnessed people I grew up who were raised in the faith, people I looked up to, totally deviate from their ways, often experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and usually delving into sexual promiscuity. Most of the childhood friends I had in Catholic school and in youth group were no longer Catholics. Upon reuniting with them, most of them were blaspheming and hating the Church, or at the very least, they were apathetic towards it and no longer practiced the Catholic faith. As people I used to go to Mass with and say the Our Father with, it totally made me re-assess my views on faith. To make matters worse, I witnessed the negative politics within the Catholic community I was raised in, and I even saw how truly un-Christian Catholics around me were treating those around them. I began to think "Is this what I've subscribed to? Judgement? Self-righteousness?" It seemed that the Catholics I was being surrounded by were more concerned with being right than being loving. I also began to read about the history of the Catholic Church and how it conquered the Philippines through the Catholic faith and subjugated the native people to it. None of these things made my faith stronger. In fact, it made it worse.

In light of this, I began to shed my Catholic identity and leaned more towards the evangelical and Protestant approaches to Christianity. Even to this day, I think the Protestant/Evangelical community is doing a far better job in making the Christian faith accessible and relevant to people, especially young people, than the Catholic Church is. However, I also noticed that the evangelical approach, while I admire it, is still very fundamentalist and in many ways even more conservative than what I was raised with in the Catholic Church. A lot of evangelicals have made it their mission to lash out at the Catholic Church as well, which I don't agree with.

Looking upon all this, I realize today that at the core, I am a Catholic. It's what I know, and it's what I grew up in. I have been to many churches, but there's something about a Catholic cathedral that just hits me to the core. However, I am still looking at the Catholic Church with a critical eye. I was at Mass recently and the priest on the altar told us that as of right now, 80 percent of Catholics have left the Catholic Church. My question was: "What was the Church doing when it was at a drop out rate of 50 percent? Why didn't they do anything about it then?" The fact is that I totally understand why people would leave the Church. The Catholic Church tends to encourage people to join them, but they don't often reach out, get their hands dirty, and recruit people into it (with the exception of missionary work, the evangelical side isn't the strongest). The highly institutionalized and regimented nature of the Catholic Church greatly differs from the way Christ presented Himself.

I really believe the Catholic Church is beautiful and has so much to offer, but I think a lot of changes need to be made. While I understand Tradition is so important, we need to realize that we live in the 21st century and there are things the Church needs to adapt to to make itself more relevant and applicable in today's society.

Why We Do It

I have been training and teaching the Filipino martial arts since I was 13 years old. In that time, I have devoted myself wholeheartedly to pursuing what many of my training partners would call the "Warrior Lifestyle". This involves not only training in martial arts, but also other fields that relate to fitness, nutrition, survival, battlefield medicine, firearms training, outdoor survival training in different climates and conditions, as well as delving into fields such as religion, history, philosophy, psychology, and even researching motivational speakers and their self-improvement methods. I would never consider myself a master or expert, but I have been pursuing knowledge of these skills for almost over 13 years now, and I don't see myself winding down anytime soon. I'm constantly seeking to improve myself as a warrior in every aspect of my life.

This often begs the question from my loved ones, family, and friends: "Why do you do this? What's the point? When will you ever have to use a blade, stick, sword? When will you ever have to learn to survive in the wilderness? Why do you carry a bag of medical gear and other tools all the time?"

I've been hearing these questions since I was a teenager, and now as an adult, I feel I have come to grips with why I, and others like me, train the way we do and do what we do. In light of this, I have come up with a list of reasons that I hope can shed light as why we do, what we do. Now, before I begin, I am not saying that I am better than anyone, or that my lifestyle is superior. This is simply a life I, and others like me, have been called to...one of discipline, desire, and the following...

1) Love: That's right. LOVE. The legendary Dan Inosanto (Bruce Lee's friend and teacher in Kali, as well as THE Ambassador of Filipino Martial Arts) once said, "You train because you love people...you train because you love them so much that you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them...LOVE is the highest art." I feel this is so true. There are people in my life that I love, and I never take them or their existence for granted. I am not perfect, but I do everything possible to make sure those I love are safe and taken care of. I also show love for my teachers, my training partners, and my students. I want to ensure that my skills bring out the best in me so I can love better and serve them better. Navy SEAL Michael Jaco, in his book "The Intuitive Warrior", said: "A true warrior's mindset is one of love. You love yourself and others...I have heard of men who didn't believe in the cause they were fighting for but fought to stand by their countrymen." From my experience, I have found this to be true regardless if the warrior is a Navy SEAL, Special Forces soldier, police officer, or even they are an athlete or a normal everyday citizen...people will fight to stand by those they love.

2) Moral Duty Towards the Preservation of Innocent Life: I believe that life is the most precious gift God has given us. It isn't always pretty or fun, but in the grand scheme of everything, it's always beautiful. As a result, I believe that all innocent life needs to be protected by any means necessary. Any enemy to innocent life must be eradicated and dealt with in a straightforward way. That "enemy" comes in many forms: alcoholism, drug abuse, child abuse, poverty, death as the result of overexposure or injury in a natural disaster, starvation, and of course, physical threats such as criminals, enemy combatants, and terrorists. All of the training I have has made me more aware of the value of innocent life, and it motivates me to acquire the skills, knowledge, and equipment I need to preserve and protect it. This can range from learning how to fight with weapons...to learning first aid...to eating right, limiting alcohol, avoiding drugs, and staying healthy...and avoiding people and places that may be more susceptible to bringing negativity into my life.

3) Control: Another reason I live the way I do and train the way I train is that I want to know that I have true mastery over myself, my emotions, as well as some sense of control of the environment around me. First, I wish to seek constant mastery over myself. I am not perfect. I have emotions just like anyone else, but everyday I seek to gain control of those emotions and make them serve me, as opposed to making me serve them. This means being in a constant state of self-awareness and knowing my emotions as they happen, and controlling them properly. The training I have received, particularly my training in Atienza Kali, has trained me to think past emotion and think as analytically and logically as possible regardless of the problem I am facing. Again, I'm not perfect, but when I run Bayani Warrior, I know that in order to lead a group, I need to be able to lead myself, and that's where emotional control comes in. Also, there is control over circumstances. There are far too many people who say, "Well whatever happens, happens...if a loved one or myself get attacked/sick/injured/etc. then I'll deal with it then." In my humble opinion, this is HIGHLY irresponsible and even immoral. As I said before, innocent life is precious and must be guarded. This desire to maintain control of my circumstances also impacts my professional life as well. I never say, "Well, I'm okay with making a mediocre amount of money this month. Whatever happens, happens." I never think that way! I work hard to ensure that I am financially able to pay my bills and live an honest, fulfilling life in the process. I don't care what the economy is like. I don't care what people say. God put me on this Earth not to pursue mediocrity, but to live a life of inspiration of significance...to show that circumstances don't define us, but that WE define our circumstances.

4) It's Fun: I'm a big kid. It's the truth. I still read comic books. I still eat Gummi Bears and Peanut Butter M&M's to excess. I still get excited when I hear the Superman movie theme song. I still love being in my backyard and running around in it. In light of this, I love training and acquiring these skills because it's every little boy's dream to be able to shoot guns, throw knives, survive in the woods, and possess other cool skills reminiscent of childhood memories of James Bond or Chuck Norris. Now, it's not always painless, or comfortable, or even enjoyable at the time...but after all is said and done, I'm glad I challenged myself and pushed myself to my limits. And, these fun, cool skills are not only fun, but they can help protect those I care about as well. It makes me feel confident and happy knowing that I am capable of doing things that not many other people can do, and that my skills can possibly save a life someday.

So there you have it. I'm sure there are other reasons why I do what I do, but right now, these are the best I can come up with. The fact of the matter is that we all have a warrior living within us. We all have something we are fighting everyday. The reason why I do what I do is so that the skills I acquire can help me live a better life so that I am a better son, older brother, boyfriend, friend, and teacher.

A Big Pile of Branches

We all have challenges in this life. One look through my Facebook mini-feed and after speaking to several close loved ones, I realize that we are all facing some sort of challenge. It may be work, it may be school, it may be relationships, it may be finances. I thought I'd talk about some of my thoughts about challenges and overcoming them...but first, I'd like to first tell a story about what happened this morning.

I went to bed last night, and had a dream. In the dream, I was facing against several exponents of another Filipino martial arts system, sparring them, fighting them, and defeating them. I felt unstoppable, as if no one could stop me. As I rose to victory in this dream, and at the height of my sense of accomplishment, I hear my dad's Filipino-accented voice saying:

"Mike, wake up!"

I then woke up and realized I was in my bed, and that it was early in the morning. It was cold, I was tired, and I was honestly rather irritated that I was removed from my dream of combative glory and victory to be awakened by my father and mother. Apparently, Edison, New Jersey decided to get it's act together and get rid of the hundreds upon thousands of fallen tree limbs and debris that was lying outside of the homes of my neighborhood, and my father and I had to get the remaining debris in the backyard to the front yard so that the landscapers could get rid of them. As I walked out to the backyard, I realized that the pile of branches that my father and I had to carry to the front yard was HUGE, and looked far too big for two people to take on alone. The pile was the size of a one car garage, and the pile was even taller than me, with branches of various weights and lengths. I thought to myself, "This pile of branches is way too big. This is going to take forever." Walking in mud in the freezing cold hauling off huge branches was definitely not the way I planned to spend my morning.

However, for some reason, my training in Atienza Kali kicked in. While the pile of branches was huge, I began to break down the pile one part at a time. We took the smaller branches out to the front, and the larger branches were put on the side to use as fire wood. This way, we wouldn't be carrying heavy logs to the front. Instead, we were carrying smaller, lighter branches to the front and setting the heavier ones aside. We went back and forth like beavers setting up a dam, carrying piles of branches from the backyard to the front yard (for those of you who have seen the size of my backyard, you know that the walk is certainly no small feat). Within what seemed to be no time at all, the once HUGE pile of branches in the backyard disappeared. Between two men, the entire operation took only 20 minutes.

Now, you might be thinking: "What does this have to do with Atienza Kali and problem solving?"

Truth is, it has everything to do with them.

In Atienza Kali, we view the blade as a gateway to solving problems. The problems can be related to fighting or combat, but more importantly, the problems can be more life-based: relationships, finances, work, school, etc. We are taught to break down a blade exchange in it's most specific details with as little emotion as possible. We are then taught how to apply this mindset to life's challenges. The fact is this: no matter how big the problem may be, no matter how challenging it may appear, you have it within you to break down the problem, one bit at a time, and eventually, the problem can be overcome. It simply takes a great degree of self-control, emotional awareness, and a focused mind.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in Atienza Kali is that our problems are only problems if we allow them to be. We always have control over the situation regardless of what is going on, because we have control of how we respond to the situation at hand. This is reminiscent of what I have read in the book "A Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. This book has actually changed my life, and for those of you who have not read this book, Viktor Frankl is a psychiatrist who was once locked away in a Nazi concentration camp. In this camp, he lost his wife, his brother, and both of his parents while being deprived of food and sleep, as well as undergoing regular beatings. However, despite all these challenges, Viktor Frankl survived and stated: "Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." While we may not always have control of what happens around us, we can always have control of what happens within us, and our attitude defines our future, and the quality of our life. Oftentimes, that bill to pay or that paper you have due by Monday may seem like a huge problem, but with the right attitude and approach, the problem can be solved.

Whether the challenge is financial, relationship-based, work-related, or even if it's just a big pile of branches, we can always overcome the problems we face. We simply need to regroup, adjust our focus, and break down the problem one bit at a time.

26

Today, I turned 26 years old. It's amazing how much one can grow and change within just one year. A year ago from today, I was a very different person living a very different life. I was in a rough place emotionally and spiritually, and I yearned to know whether or not my life would change for the better. Today, on my twenty-sixth birthday, I can honestly say that my life has truly evolved and changed for the better.

But first, a quick story.

As I attended church yesterday with my family, the priest, during his homily (or sermon for your Protestants out there), discussed the concept of vocations. The Gospel reading for the day was Matthew 25: 14-30, which discussed the concept of talents, and how one must not bury their talents, but rather, embrace and utilize the talents that God gave them. As I listened to the priest speak, he discussed how all of us, whether priest, married, single, teacher, police officer, etc...all are called to a specific vocation in this life.

This past year, I was placed in a position in which I was forced to leave the past behind and instead press onward to what I believe is my vocation in this life, which is as a teacher, combatant, and ambassador of the Filipino martial arts. This journey was not voluntary. I was placed in such a dark and painful place in my life that I honestly had no other choice but to press onward and aggressively towards this path. I took several roads which seemed to be the path I wanted to be on but instead, I was led to the path I am now. Today, the path toward my vocation has seemed to come to fruition, and while I do not feel the journey is by any means over, this past year, I have undergone so many changes and evolved in so many ways that I am now certain that my destiny is not too far away from me.

This past year, I have experienced and gone through many things I never thought I would ever experience in my life, and I left with many things learned. I underwent periods of dread, loss, and despair. I learned the value and healing power of working with children, and how their innocence can inspire and transform you into a better version of yourself. I saw how simple nights at a diner could lead to spiritual revelation and empowerment. I learned what true fear and terror felt like, and how that type of fear and terror truly puts ones life in the right perspective. I learned that 50 percent of any battle is showing up on the battlefield, and how the right leadership and camaraderie are what makes warriors...warriors. I learned what it meant to see an opportunity and not let it pass by. I learned what it meant to connect to a woman on a true deep, spiritual level that transcends mere physical attraction. I learned that if we want to improve and change the world around us, we must first learn to improve and change the world within us.


I am one year older, one year wiser, and one year more successful than I was last year. I have endured and persevered, and I know that while there will be more battles to come in the future, right now, I definitely see life as less rocky and uncertain than before.

A Total 180

I opened the front door this morning and felt cool air hit my face. I now realize that summer here in New Jersey is slowly coming to an end. My life at this point is truly a completely different reality than it was last year. Last summer was probably the most difficult period of my life. However, this summer has managed to be the exact opposite. It's safe to say that this summer has probably the best summer of my life.

Last summer, I saw several doors in my life close in front of my face. One door that closed was particularly difficult for me at that time. I can't remember a time in my life in which I was more depressed, scared, alone, and miserable than last summer. As the summer of 2010 ended, I was uncertain and unsure of where my life was heading. I was eager to start a new path in my life and leave the old one behind, yet I didn't know how I was going to do so.

Fortunately, God brought me through several moments through the Fall, Winter, and Spring that led me to where I am today. Some moments were fun, others were frustrating, and some were downright annoying. But, God truly opens the right doors and closes the wrong ones.

This summer has been a series of open doors. In May, Bayani Warrior opened at Jersey Fight Club in Cranford, NJ, becoming our new home and blessing us with new students and new friends who support our mision and what we do. In June, I got to speak at a summit in New York City for the UNIPRO organization in front of some of the top names in the Filipino community. I saw the Bayani Warrior Gathering take place on that same day and saw our numbers literally triple in the span of that one session. In the first weekend of July, I was given the honor of attending, demonstrating, and teaching at Sayoc Kali Sama Sama...it's been my lifelong dream to have the honor of demonstrating at Sama Sama, let alone teach there. At the end of July, I attended the SFL Conference in Dallas, Texas where I got stronger in my faith, made so many new friends, and best of all, I met someone very special to me who has all the same core values as I do. In August, I have also been able to train under some of the greatest warriors on the planet this month, learning skills I never thought I'd be able to learn.

This summer, I've learned that our past only dictates our future if we allow it. We have the ability to move forward, and once we do, God opens up doors that we never thought we'd see opened. However, it is up to us to MOVE. God won't move unless we do. He's waiting for us to move forward away from the negative aspects of our past...to move towards a Higher Path. Once that happens, and once we shed the chains of the past, only then will we see true opportunity and growth in our lives.

I am stronger, more self-aware, and happier than I have ever been. I know there will be battles to face in the future, but I now have the right faith, the right training, and the right people to stand by my side.

So to conclude, I will say this: Life isn't perfect. But, it is good. :)

Ready to Play

Growing up, I never really played sports. While I was heavy into martial arts growing up throughout my youth, I never really had the interest to play basketball, football (sorry to all the Texans out there...I know it is akin to committing an act of blasphemy), baseball, or tennis. Looking back on it, I think the desire to play was always there. The desire to play has not only been a part of my athletic life but also part of my spiritual life as well.

I always had a desire to go out and do athletic things. When I was a kid, the truth was that I was very naive, sheltered, and physically, I was fat, uncoordinated, and slow. When it came to gym class, or recess after lunch, I would always try to play sports with the other kids, but time after time, I was always the one picked last. It didn't matter what sport was being played: basketball, football, or even dodgeball or tag--I was always picked last due to my size and lack of knowledge regarding the game being played. I remember trying out for my junior varsity basketball team in middle school and failing rather miserably.

After being taunted and eventually kneed in the groin by a school bully, my parents decided to take my chubby, wimpy self to a Karate class in town where all the other kids seemed to be training. Martial Arts provided a solution to a lot of the problems I was facing. Not only did it teach me how to protect myself from bullies, but unlike other sports, it didn't require any prior knowledge of the sport to participate, nor did it require team tryouts or physical fitness tests to begin playing. I started as a white belt and eventually stuck around at the school for a few years. In time, I became physically more fit and more confident. The desire to play and to be athletic seemed to be what kept me there for a while, even when my friends from the school eventually quit. I went on to study different forms of martial arts, eventually finding the Filipino martial arts, which is the art God put in my heart to passionately pursue, study, and teach. To this day, the desire to play is still in me. I train 5 to 6 days a week, oftentimes twice a day. I eat right. I sleep at least 7 hours a night. I like fighting. I like being an athlete. I like to push myself and see where my body can take me.

Likewise, in my spiritual life, I can easily say that I've been ready to play for a long time. For as long as I can remember, I recall praying and talking to God about possibly using me to do something important on this planet while I'm still here. I feel that for the last few years, God has "benched" me in a way. No matter how hard I seemed to work or try, I could never get ahead in my spiritual life, nor was I able to find the purpose God had for me.

God is the greatest coach in the universe. He will train you. He will break you. He will push you to your limits. When He feels it's right, He'll put you out on the playing field. Above all things, He wants you to remember that you are not an individual. You play for HIS team, and He won't let you onto the playing field until He feels you are ready.

In the past month, I had the opportunity to be part of two amazing conferences, each of them representing the two pillars of my life. After attending Sayoc Kali Sama Sama in Pennsylvania, the world's greatest Filipino martial arts gathering, and after attending SFL Conference in Dallas, a truly fulfilling and amazing Christian conference, I feel like He's letting me know that I'm ready to accept my purpose, or at the very least, I will be able to step onto the field pretty soon. However, I just want to go by His playbook. He knows the game of life better than anyone else, after all.