The Topic That Has Always Captured My Interest
I don't discuss the following topic much. Nowadays, you could be ridiculed or put under a microscope the moment you talk about it. I may allude to it at times. I may mention it here and there. But, it's been a long time since I've openly discussed my thoughts on the subject. For those who know me pretty well, I have always talked about it openly. However, it has been a very. very long time since I've spoken about this particular topic in an open forum such as this. The main reason for this is because I've truly pissed a lot of people off in the past when it came to talking about this, and I made this beautiful, wonderful topic look really bad from my past behavior. Hopefully I can come clean and discuss this topic in the most straightforward, honest, and humble way I can. This is not easy for me. I can't promise it'll make everyone happy, but I feel this entry is long overdue.
The topic: Christianity. Christianity has always, without a doubt, been a huge part of who I am and has for the longest time, been a pillar in my life. More specifically, I have always been interested in how Christianity is relevant, and how it also fails to be relevant in these modern times. I have always been fascinated by Christianity and I've always been fascinated at how different people view Christianity. I believe in God. I believe in Christ. I pray everyday. I read the Bible everyday, Psalms, Proverbs, and the Book of Matthew the most often. But, it's difficult for me to discuss Christianity openly, mainly because I don't think I am a good representation of Christ or Christianity. Christ taught to love your enemies. I loathe my enemies. Christ taught us to turn the other cheek. I train people to hit first. Christ teaches to forgive seventy time seven times when your neighbor wrongs you. I may be able to forgive once, but after that...you are on your own. As crazy as it sounds, by Christ's standards (not the world's standards), I am an adulterer and a murderer.
Despite all this, I still feel immensely drawn to Christianity. I'm not sure why. It could be because of my Christian upbringing, but then again, I know a ton of people who were brought up Christian but no longer practice as adults. Personally, I think I'm drawn to Christianity not because of who I am or how I grew up, but rather, who I want to be.
When I look at Christianity, aside from my faith in it, I see a belief system that is quite possibly the most utilitarian and complete ethical and spiritual belief system I have ever seen. Christ's teachings barely discuss complicated, esoteric metaphysical concepts. Rather, his teachings are often based on everyday things: relationships with people, how to treat others, how to look after the people society usually forgets (the sick, the homeless, the hookers, the poor). He talks about faith and the power it can have on people. He talks about humility. He talks about sacrificing your own life for one's friends. He talks about honesty. These things are all concepts that most people, Christian or not, can see eye to eye on.
However, it's a shame that Christ doesn't have the best P.R. agents. As I said before, I don't think I am a good representation of him. Most of what I am seeing in Christianity today is an odd subculture of Christian music (which, for the most part, I've never been a fan of) and people with a political or social agenda. In the past, I was in prayer groups and Christian groups where they would talk about God's love and mercy one minute and the next thing you knew these same people were anything but loving and merciful (and sadly, I was one of them). These people would keep their Bibles close but would keep people far away from them out of suspicion and judgement. From my experience, I haven't really had the fondest moments being with other Christians. I can only think of a handful of times where I have met Christians that I saw eye to eye with. For the most part, I've found most Christians to be sincere people, but from my experience, they taught me to pray my problems away as opposed to solving them the way I feel God wants me to.
There is no real way to "define" how a Christian should look and appear to be, but, I think at the core, something Christ-like needs to be there. As a Christian, it isn't enough to just be "kind" and "loving". Anyone can be kind and loving, regardless of faith or lack thereof. But, to be a Christian requires one to be kind and loving as the result of God's love, especially when the Christian has every right to be anything but loving and kind. This is very difficult for me, honestly. I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure why I wrote this entry. I guess it is a way for me to recognize that my faith is still important. FMA is my whole life but without my faith in Christianity I don't think I would be half the instructor, fighter, or leader that I try to be everyday. As an FMA leader, I need to be strong, calm under pressure, and possess an ability to stay focused regardless of what challenge is in front of me. But, Christianity keeps me honest and humble. It reminds me that no matter how much skill I have, I am still human and I still make mistakes. Christianity and FMA both keep me in line, but Christianity reminds me that there is something bigger and greater than me that I need to lean on.
The topic: Christianity. Christianity has always, without a doubt, been a huge part of who I am and has for the longest time, been a pillar in my life. More specifically, I have always been interested in how Christianity is relevant, and how it also fails to be relevant in these modern times. I have always been fascinated by Christianity and I've always been fascinated at how different people view Christianity. I believe in God. I believe in Christ. I pray everyday. I read the Bible everyday, Psalms, Proverbs, and the Book of Matthew the most often. But, it's difficult for me to discuss Christianity openly, mainly because I don't think I am a good representation of Christ or Christianity. Christ taught to love your enemies. I loathe my enemies. Christ taught us to turn the other cheek. I train people to hit first. Christ teaches to forgive seventy time seven times when your neighbor wrongs you. I may be able to forgive once, but after that...you are on your own. As crazy as it sounds, by Christ's standards (not the world's standards), I am an adulterer and a murderer.
Despite all this, I still feel immensely drawn to Christianity. I'm not sure why. It could be because of my Christian upbringing, but then again, I know a ton of people who were brought up Christian but no longer practice as adults. Personally, I think I'm drawn to Christianity not because of who I am or how I grew up, but rather, who I want to be.
When I look at Christianity, aside from my faith in it, I see a belief system that is quite possibly the most utilitarian and complete ethical and spiritual belief system I have ever seen. Christ's teachings barely discuss complicated, esoteric metaphysical concepts. Rather, his teachings are often based on everyday things: relationships with people, how to treat others, how to look after the people society usually forgets (the sick, the homeless, the hookers, the poor). He talks about faith and the power it can have on people. He talks about humility. He talks about sacrificing your own life for one's friends. He talks about honesty. These things are all concepts that most people, Christian or not, can see eye to eye on.
However, it's a shame that Christ doesn't have the best P.R. agents. As I said before, I don't think I am a good representation of him. Most of what I am seeing in Christianity today is an odd subculture of Christian music (which, for the most part, I've never been a fan of) and people with a political or social agenda. In the past, I was in prayer groups and Christian groups where they would talk about God's love and mercy one minute and the next thing you knew these same people were anything but loving and merciful (and sadly, I was one of them). These people would keep their Bibles close but would keep people far away from them out of suspicion and judgement. From my experience, I haven't really had the fondest moments being with other Christians. I can only think of a handful of times where I have met Christians that I saw eye to eye with. For the most part, I've found most Christians to be sincere people, but from my experience, they taught me to pray my problems away as opposed to solving them the way I feel God wants me to.
There is no real way to "define" how a Christian should look and appear to be, but, I think at the core, something Christ-like needs to be there. As a Christian, it isn't enough to just be "kind" and "loving". Anyone can be kind and loving, regardless of faith or lack thereof. But, to be a Christian requires one to be kind and loving as the result of God's love, especially when the Christian has every right to be anything but loving and kind. This is very difficult for me, honestly. I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure why I wrote this entry. I guess it is a way for me to recognize that my faith is still important. FMA is my whole life but without my faith in Christianity I don't think I would be half the instructor, fighter, or leader that I try to be everyday. As an FMA leader, I need to be strong, calm under pressure, and possess an ability to stay focused regardless of what challenge is in front of me. But, Christianity keeps me honest and humble. It reminds me that no matter how much skill I have, I am still human and I still make mistakes. Christianity and FMA both keep me in line, but Christianity reminds me that there is something bigger and greater than me that I need to lean on.
posted by Mike Pana at
8:13 PM
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