The Question

I am asked the same question time and time again. In fact, I ask myself this same question time and time again. This question has defined most of my decisions and my behavior the majority of my life. For some reason, I don't know the answer to it. Everyday I try to get closer to finding the answer. But, the closer I seem to get, the more the answer eludes me.

The question is, "Why are you so passionate about the Filipino martial arts?" To take the question even further..."Why have I chosen to devote so much time and energy to the Filipino martial arts? Why have I gone as far as to make this my mission in life as well as my livelihood?"

Before, I used to think I had the answer. I used to think it was about being in touch with my Filipino roots. I used to think it was about spreading the Filipino culture. I used to think it was about having fun and swinging weapons around. But, at this point, I realize none of those statements provided a true answer.

There is something deep within me, something that I cannot seem to shake. It is a yearning to constantly train and improve. It's an obsession to be able to LIVE the art, to improve my life and others' lives through the art, and to be able to make a successful living at it. I do not know why I feel this way. But, it's something that is inside my heart and soul that I can't seem to explain.

When I hold a weapon in my hand, I feel like it's SUPPOSED to be there. Like my arms and legs, it's as if it is a part of me. When most people look at a weapon, they get scared. They see a tool of destruction and violence. For me, when I see a weapon, I see a tool akin to a paintbrush, a musical instrument, or a lump of sculpting clay. It is a tool for violence, for sure, but it is also a tool to explore my creative faculties. For me, the Filipino martial arts is more than a way to combat physical threats. It's also a means of self-expression. Filipino martial arts gives me a venue where I can create and design....where all of my influences come together at an apex and my mind and soul is put to good, creative use. This training has given more than just fighting skill. It has given me way more than that. It has given me a place to grow, improve, and develop myself. Without God bringing such influences into my life, I have no idea where I'd be today.

I know it must seem odd that a 24 year old is so focused and passionate and the Filipino martial arts and is constantly training, creating different methods, and working so hard to make a successful living from it. I know that most people in their early 20s would rather spend time hanging out in bars and clubs. I know it probably makes more sense for me to just train in Filipino martial arts as a hobby. But, that isn't enough for me. For me, I put all of my focus into this art. Again, I have no idea why. It's just some intangible driving force that has consumed me to learn everything I can, train as much as I can, and help make this world better through this art.

I know God has His reasons for this. He could've made me passionate about anything: medicene, basketball, music, priesthood. But, this is what He placed within my heart. I believe He gave it to me to serve a Higher purpose. This is what I've been called to do. And, make no mistake about it: This is my calling. I am sure of it.